Hello Stranger

Woooooooah
Long time no see, it seems like forever since I wrote something. The thing is, I know a few writers who are very awesome at what they do so when I read their blogs I start to question myself. I feel like my writing is stupid, you know?
There have been many changes, so many things I want to write about and I have to remind myself that this is MY journal, a place where I can write MY own thoughts, as scattered as they may be I will continue to write them even if I'm the only one that reads it or gets it.

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Guapo

The Internet is one hell of a place to meet guys.Tall guys, short guys, hot guys, nice guys and my all time favorite the wrong guys.
A couple of weeks ago I agreed to meet "Guapo" at a local Starbucks. We exchanged a few emails in the week prior to our meeting and I was as excited as I was nervous, you see Guapo was damn near perfect. Tall, dark and handsome with two added bonus points. He was my flavor of choice-Persian and he loved plus sized girls like myself. :)
From the moment I saw him there was a familiarity in his eyes, I felt so welcomed, so at home. 
The conversation over tea was so great that it lead to a late dinner followed by drinks and a a stroll on the beach.
Somewhere in our date I realized I was in trouble, deep trouble and it wasn't because I was falling in love with him or some stupid shit like that, it was because I realized who he was, we had something very dangerous in common and if I didn't walk away at that very moment I might regret it for the rest of my life...but I stayed. I stayed and washed my worries down with a Whiskey Sour.

There is something about Guapo that entices me and keeps me looking forward to our illicit meetings. His smile is enslaving, when he kisses me I can feel his desire and my body melts at the touch of his hands.
His facial expressions I know all too well yet the purity and sincerity in his eyes, in those eyes I know I should hate is the only thing that scares me. I'm going to hurt him, there is no doubt about it, the bridges have been burned and there is no turning back now.
All I can do now is enjoy our forbidden romance while we have it and wait for this whole thing to blow up in my face, you see it's not a matter of if but when it will happen and when it does someone will be hurt, life long relationships will be forever damaged and I will do what I always do. I will pick up the pieces and move on, looking for familiarity in some other wrong guy's eyes.

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Don't blame me for being slutty, It's in my genes :)

I recently read something on ABC News that has me wondering. about my floozy ways.
According to the article there is a"thrill seeking" gene that makes you promiscuous.
The desire to cheat or sleep around seems to originate in the brain's pleasure and reward center, where the "rush" of dopamine motivates those who are vulnerable, the researchers say.

To this I say FUCK YEAH!!! something else I can blame on my genes.

See full article below.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/scientists-discover-gene-responsible-cheating-promiscuous-sex-habits/story?id=12322891

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Lily Allen - Smile

I really love this song, it reminds me so much of Mr. Big. He was an asshole to me, gave me a half ass apology about 6 weeks ago, but it wasn't until last night that he finally said it " I realize that what I did to you was really fucked up. you are a nice girl and I'm just an asshole". Couldn't have said it better myself.
Too little too late mothafuckaaaaaaaaa

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This love is taking a toll on me :(

Let's go about two months back. I was trying to bribe my 13 year old daughter's friend to convince my daughter that she shouldn't get a guinea pig.
I was terrified of them. They look so much like rats! and the feet ewwww rat feet!

Her friend was no help so after I read online that a particular Petco did NOT sell guinea pigs I deliberately drove my daughter there and told her that if they sold them there she could get one. The perfect plan, right? WRONG! We walk over to the small pets section and there, in front of me 3 guinea pigs.
She was handed the "tame" one which also happened to be the biggest one and of course fell in love with it.
We took Mr. Bonkers home and two weeks later he became restless and started making a lot of noise. I was advised to get a second guinea pigs because they are social animals and live a happier life in groups. In comes Professor X, he is cute and cuddly and stopped the madness for 2 days.
I now wake up to TWO guinea pigs crying at 6am EVERY day!
I'm bitchy, angry, frustrated but most of all tired!
I love them, I really do, They are cute and brighten up my day. Mr bonkers gives kisses and Professor X gives me sad puppy eyes. I just don't love them at 6 in the morning.
If this doesn't end soon I don't know what I'll do.

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